THE POWER OF PERCEPTION

Perception is a powerful thing.

It made me think back 15 years ago to a picture that my husband took of me on our first or second trip together. (To see the picture, check out my Instagram post from today 4/25.)

While I am standing a distance back from the reptile in the photo, it appears as though, I am right next to it, almost kissing it. (I can assure you that is not something I would ever do.) I did not even touch the reptile, but this picture made it appear that way. In fact, I wasn’t even close enough to touch it, yet to the eyes viewing this, it appears differently.

How many times is life like that? Something or someone appears one way to the eye, yet when we look deeper, we learn we had been mistaken.

It makes me think of judgment…

According to the dictionary, to judge is “to form an opinion or conclusion about something or someone.” 

The reality is judgments, good and bad, are thrown at us every day whether we see, know or admit to it. That’s not going to change, although I’d like to think that most people in this world really do mean well. We are human and we are flawed. Judging is part of human nature. We all face it. We all do it in some way or form. However, judgments don’t need to affect us in a negative manner. But that’s the tricky part: it’s an equation that starts within.

Equation being…

1) Learn to rewire your own judgments on others

+ 

2) learn to replace judgments on you with God’s Truths 

=

learning to not compare &

learning to turn our eyes and hearts to what the Lord say about us instead 🙌🏼

Okay, once again, I can’t lie. I’ve always been the sensitive gal who cried at every movie, many songs, and even if I got in trouble. Mrs. F’s fourth grade science class can attest to that when I let a friend copy my answers in the bathroom before class and got caught. The tears overflowed like a flood.

Sensitivity plus the fact that I was hyper aware of those around me and feelings, created quite a time bomb waiting to explode into tears. I can taste the saltiness of those thousands of times where I tried so hard to swallow away the tears, instead of giving into their currents.

Still, I was always sensitive and I have always worn my heart on my sleeve. The only difference is now I embrace it and use it as strength. Empathy was a quality I was blessed with, but when I could not control it, burdened by. I’d like to think now though after some insights, it’s been a blessing. 

It’s all about perspective. 

So let’s jump ahead with motherhood. Judgments are everywhere! I’ve been guilty of being sleep deprived, overwhelmed and unprepared. Oh and sometimes, or most times, my kids’ jackets are not zippered as we run into the car. I see the watching eyes. Around when Madison was six months old, I was really at some of my lowest times emotionally. I was in a major spiritual battle when…

a silly, but sweet moment happened. Once again teaching me so much… 

Children bring me such happiness except when the days turn into screaming matches or tantrum parties. You know what I mean…

I love them dearly, but that does not mean some days are not just hard!

One day in preparation for a party, I had one missing ingredient so I packed up the kids into the car and went for a “quick trip” to the food store. “Quick” was where I was wrong.

As I pulled up, I heard an “explosion” in the backseat so I set up a changing station in the truck as my son stood next to me in the parking lot. It never fails! Why does Mother Nature always call my kids at the store?  My son had been screaming about forgetting his buddies aka army of stuffed animals at home. Bad mom! How could I forget! When I took my daughter out of the car set to change her, let’s just say the diaper had not worked.

It. Was. Everywhere. 

I stripped her from everything. She was naked except from her new diaper. There was a mess everywhere. It was then I realized I had forgotten a change of outfits and had no bags to put everything in. “Bad mom again!” I thought to myself as I searched around. Dozens of people walked by me. I would say, “Excuse me…” but with no luck. All I wanted was a bag from someone’s double bagged groceries. No one stopped. No one looked. I’m pretty sure even though I’d hate to judge ... everyone heard.

Finally, I found a blanket and decided it was warm enough to use the blanket and diaper to wrap up my daughter and go into the store. My son was hysterical talking about how his sister was naked under the blanket at the store.

To say the least, I got a lot of looks. One person commented on how adorable they both were as I quickly jumped to defend myself… from what?

“Adorable and naked. We had an accident in the car and I had to run in for one item. Mother of the year over here.” I made a joke about it, which she laughed at as she walked away smiling.

TMI on my part but I feel like parenthood unleashes a lack of filter or at least, it did with me. 

Had she even been judging? 

Had anyone been throwing negative stares? 

Or was it my own perception?  

Did it even matter?

Then flashback in time to when my son was 7.5 months old and diagnosed with 21 possible allergies and due to his severe anaphylactic reaction to yogurt, he was required to eliminate all of them. I had been a new mom and strongly committed to breastfeeding him for many reasons. So I gave up those foods too. It was what I knew in my heart was best for him. I wanted to at least try out the diet to see. I have never been one to dismiss something before I tried it. While the diet free of gluten, oats, tomatoes, nuts, peanuts, eggs, sesame, and dairy was difficult enough, the hardest part of it all was the judgments and isolation that came with it for those six months. Or how I perceived it…

During those months, my son was always sick and when he wasn’t, I didn’t want to go to weddings, parties, or gatherings anyways. It was too hard to try to defend why I was doing what I was doing. At that time, I had it all wrong though. I had no one to defend myself to. No one to answer to. I knew that it was the right thing for my family and knew it would benefit him in the long run.

Do you know how many people would come to me and make comments about it like ... 

I would never do that…

I must be selfish because I would it consider it.

Why are you doing this to yourself?

The questions and comments came from so many people. And those were the ones, I actually heard. The Lord only knows the ones that were behind my back.

One person who always supported me was my husband. He knew my heart but he also always reminded me that it was always going to be my choice when I wanted to stop nursing and the diet. Yet, I felt isolated at any social event as I felt that people were judging me for not eating, saying that they would never do what I was doing. It was an isolating cycle that I just kept running into. It was easy to isolate myself than face people’s opinions... until I realized ...

none of those judgments mattered ... none ...

only God’s.

Food is everywhere. Socially, it is such a huge part of our culture. Through the elimination diet, I learned a feeling, an emptiness that no one deserves to feel because I allowed it to become like that. I learned what I never wanted my son to feel that way regardless of having 50 allergies, 3 or none. Ultimately, it made me learn and devise strategies, recipes, and a lifestyle that would foster the complete opposite for son, future daughter, students, etc.

I prayed it would provide inclusion, acceptance and advocacy in a way that protected every individual.

Like stated above, the best part is… no one’s judgment matters other than God’s

so embrace the stares as compliments,

smile back, and let your Mama/Dada, sister/brother, God-given strength shine through

right here and right now.  

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you. (‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:8‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

“Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” (‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7:5‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

“God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?” (‭‭James‬ ‭4:12)

Dear God,

You are the Only Judge. Forgive my own judgments. Soften my heart to any that sneak in. Lord, forgive me for doubting who You created me to be. Thank You for believing in me and creating me. Thank You for building my confidence in You over the years. Continue to build it. Continue to build me. Make me into everything You created me to be. I pray that for my sister or brother reading this right now too. Work in them. Speak to them. Build them into the warriors You created them to be. I pray for their purpose today. I thank You for their purpose and I pray that they know how beautiful and wonderfully created they are. I pray that they know Your perception of them over the world and that it is beautiful! Thank You Lord. In Jesus’ name, Amen.