TESTING THE WATERS
You know those moments that happen so quickly, yet teach us so much? The times that are fleeting in time, but stored forever on our hearts…
This week’s devotional is about one from the summer of 2019 that will remain with me forever.
🔺Trigger warning though: this will talk about a near drowning incidence.
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My daughter was three years old that summer and fell into a pool. With the strength of God, I saved her from drowning.
That line is still so hard to say or write. However, it is a moment that truly taught me so much so before I get to that story, let me first recap a bit.
Swimming has always been something I loved. Taking swimming lessons early on, I learned the strokes. I wasn’t always great at them though. Take for instance, the butterfly. In theory, I knew what my body was supposed to do, yet I never really was able to do it myself. While basketball and softball were the sports I played competitively, swimming was always a pastime I just loved for leisure. Maybe that is why I became a swim instructor and lifeguard as soon as I was allowed to in my teenage years. In fact, my husband and I met during his summer when I was working at a swim camp by the beach. It was my job to teach young kids, usually between the ages of five and seven how to swim and many times how to get over the fear of the water.
I taught swimming for almost 10 years. Therefore, to skip ahead to having our own children, my husband and I always said that I would be the one who taught the kids how to swim. So for my first, my son, it came easy. I remember he always loved the water and although he was timid for other things, in the pool he was naturally fearless. Therefore, he really did learn quite early to swim. Breaking the fear is often the most challenging part. Since he didn’t have it, the initial learning came easily.
Then, came my daughter. And while I had all the plans to do the same thing I had done with my son around the age of three, my daughter taught me that, I had to test the waters first. To start, the main dilemma was she did not like water going on her face. While I tried to follow through with what I had done with my son, it did not take long to learn this was the tale of two cities, I mean the tale of two different children. Still I digress…
I had to back up from my plans and first work on making her comfortable. That was what we worked on that summer of 2019. It was filled with lots of games, playing and splashing while wearing her puddle jumper. She had been getting more adjusted to the water leading up to that Labor Day family party. At the time, we were working through some potty issues as well. Therefore, while swimming, my daughter took many bathroom breaks. After one of the visits to the bathroom, we walked back outside. Just then someone asked me a question about my son’s food and allergies. Even though we had just come out from that break, my daughter had never been one to just jump into the water so I turned away for a moment to answer.
However, like me, she got lost in the moment, thinking her swimmies were on and jumped right in. After maybe five seconds (or I would hope less), it was noticed and I had flown into the pool without thinking, picking her out of those waters.
“Remember that I commanded you to be strong and brave, So don’t be afraid. The Lord your God will be with you everywhere you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
God was surely by my side. I felt a power within me that felt as though it lifted me across the deck to the water. In fact, I was told by my family who watched that they never saw someone move so fast. I don’t remember moving. It was as if I flew without a first thought… on angel’s wings.
Praise God that she was 100% fine, just a little shaken up. However, once she was calm and we realized she was totally fine, I knew we needed to prevent this from turning into fear. Going back to my psychology roots from college and the argument of whether we are affected more by nature or nurture, we needed to be conscious of our reactions. We needed to be deliberate in how we reacted, but also what we fed and nurtured her with afterwards. It was a nurture over nature kind of way that needed to be conscious and deliberate. In many ways, she was fearless by nature minus her already-existent discomfort with water and I needed to be aware of the nurture end of the psychological equation.
She had really always been good at holding her breath and not allowing water in, so we went back and played in those waters. We would not let fear overpower us. I spent the rest of that summer doing everything in my power to embrace the water and make her comfortable again. Her scripture above her bed describes her perfectly, “She is clothed with strength and dignity. And she laughs without fear of the future.” (Proverbs 31:25)
I knew what it was like to have the laughter stolen by fear. I would do anything in my power to break my kids from that cycle. I was not always the one swimming through the pools with the kids on playdates and family parties. I do watch by their sides and am often in knee-deep teaching them skills here and there when they do not resist. However, after that day of having to jump in and save my daughter, I swam laps with her thanking God for saving her. God gave me the strength and direction to be her superhero, as she labeled me that night, which finally made me tear up.
“Mommy, you really are a superhero. You are my hero.”
With tears in my eyes and a million emotions running through my body, that night before going to bed, I couldn't help but to think about it all.
Thank you Lord.
“In that day you will say: “Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted. Sing to the Lord, for he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world.” (Isaiah 12:4-5)
It was through His strength and the power of the Holy Spirit I believe I was able to react without thinking and get to her in time. But it made me think about something else too and a topic I have not been so forthcoming with talking about… Drinking.
After I had kids and during my first pregnancy, I had really been convicted that I should not be drinking as much as I once had done in the past. It had been on my heart for years, and still I held onto it for fear of… honestly, I don’t really know. Maybe it was just the social piece of it… Maybe it was negative cycles and patterns… Maybe it was what I was used to turning to after a long day or week. Still, gradually God continued to work in me and over the years since having kids my drinking really became so much less. Now, this is not a post going into the topic of drinking. It is one that addresses the convictions the Holy Spirit placed in my own heart that I was resistant at first to follow for my own selfish desires. Still, I’m glad I listened and that day at the pool had me reflecting a lot about that.
What if I had been drinking?
Would my body have reacted as innately as it did? Would I have been able to feel the Holy Spirit moving within me if I had some drinks?
I want to hear God’s voice louder in and through all times. Sure, lies, fear and doubts can all get loud and make it more difficult to hear. However, I couldn’t help but think about how drinking could dim what I really need to hear too.
Why do I ever deliberately test the waters? Why do I question what God calls me to do or not to do? I was so thankful that I had been listening at the time. However, I would be lying to say that I did not start to feel the guilt of taking my eyes off of her for that second conversation or fear of the harmful lasting effects of the incident.
But I was reminded to forgive myself that night too. (That is a whole other topic I’ll save for another time.)
There are many lessons these ten seconds taught me and to listen for the Holy Spirit promptings and convictions is just one. Therefore, let’s go back to the tale of these two different children and how…
We are all different.
I think about that and our journeys.
I think about our experiences.
I think about how God knows what we each need, what we each have been through and all that we will need and will go through.
None of us are the same.
We are all different.
We all need things at different times.
Just like the Holy Spirit may show us areas to work on at different times than the next person. Our journey is our journey with Christ and should never be compared to someone else’s. When our decisions are Spirit led, they do not need to see what everyone else is doing to know the next step or to confirm it. Instead, we hear, listen and follow.
“Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.” (Deuteronomy 5:33)
God knows exactly what we need. He is patient with us so we can lean on Him to help us become patient with others.
Our kids are the same. Learning and developing at their own speed and time, with their own talents and gifts, strengths and challenges.
We all test the waters in more ways than one. However, I pray I learn to not test the waters God calls me to. Instead, I pray to trust and I once again am reminded of Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
This week’s The Art of a Messy House Right Here Right Now challenge is to reflect on these questions:
What is the Lord speaking to you today?
What area(s) does He want you to work on?
Write them down.
Pray about them.
Write down any prompts that come.
And ask these questions: Am I following? How can I follow wholeheartedly?
Ask the Lord for His strength, courage and wisdom to do so.
Remember that when God calls us to something, He has ALREADY equipped us. Let’s not hold onto the ways of the world even if they are popular. However, let’s not judge either. Thankfully, that is not our role to do.
“Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?” James 4:11-12
There is only One Judge and that is the Lord.
Remember our stories are all different. We are all called to different waters and at different times. Yet, God is so patient with us. Therefore, we can be patient with others and in helping them along their journey. Some of us will jump right in like my son and others may be more timid like my daughter. Some of us may even have a story of why the nerves come around the water, a tale like my daughter still remembers. Still, with God all things are possible.
He can set the captives free. He saves. He delivers. And like my daughter, He protects and does a great work in us. Last summer, my daughter started to learn to swim although it took 2 years to get her comfortable enough in the water to try. God was working! God was delivering! I needed to stand patiently teaching through His wisdom and strength instead of my own that can so easily fail me.
However, I must end with this. We must be patient with ourselves too, but we must listen and obey. Patience must not become an excuse for ignorance or dismissing a prompt.
So let’s not test the waters when we are called to go. Instead, let’s obey the prompt and live the abundant life God has laid out for us right here and right now.
Dear God,
You are the ultimate Teacher, Healer and Protector. Forgive me for any prompts that I do not obey at first. I pray to walk in obedience and in the abundance you have for me even when it goes against the popular ways of the world. I pray to be in Your presence and present with my own kids, teaching and guiding them with Your wisdom and patience. Fill me with patience. Thank you for Your patience with me. Thank You for working in and through me everyday. I give You all the glory. I ask that You speak to and guide the person reading this right now. I pray for their safety and protection. I pray that they may live out the calling and purpose that You have created them for. Thank you for them. Thank you for it all. Thank you that I never need to judge but that I can continue to learn and become all You want me to become, all to make Your name known. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
