DON'T CRY OVER SPILLED MILK: THE THINGS KIDS REMEMBER

Don’t cry over spilled milk, it has been said. Just pour some over your head, instead. 

Wait what?!

We will call this one…

Don’t cry over spilled milk: the things kids remember… 

Have you ever experienced guilt? Mom guilt? Teacher guilt? Friend guilt? Daughter guilt? Sister guilt? GUILT… the guilt of what you wish you did or didn’t do? 

I know I certainly have. I spent way too long in that space and am forever grateful that I do not need to stay there. Ever! No one does. 

Let me explain… 

Guilt and shame may always try to steal us from the moments before us, from the present, from the beauty and truth before us. 

After our family trip and summer ended last summer, I experienced this. 

I remember thinking…

“I wasn’t as good of a mama as I could have been.”

“I should have read more with them...”

“I should have swam more…”

“I should have played more…”

One “I should have” right after another. The should ofs and could ofs started to steal my sleep and even my presence. Then, my husband started stating some things he wished he had done too. 

It was like our thoughts were spiraling as we entered that new season of back to work and school. As we were focusing on what we wish we had done differently, these lies snuck in. The guilt, the regret, the doubts, the fears, the lies…

BUT… 

They got nothing on the TRUTH.

Just as our focus was slipping, a beautiful reminder was sent. (Praise God for those reminders and heart checks. 🤍)

My kids said something that made me PAUSE and remember…

“Mommy, remember when you poured milk on Daddy’s head. That was the best day ever!”

Now, you probably think I’ve really lost it. But hear me out on this one as we flashback to that day…  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It hadn’t been the best day. I remember it so clearly. In fact, it was quite the opposite. We had all been moody and a lot of bickering had gone on that day. The little “stuff” was bothering us all. It was 2020 and a couple months into covid, and we were all working and learning together in the same house. We were all together all the time and balancing a lot. We were tired and missing life as we had known it before the shutdown.

It was A LOT.

All the bickering led to a high stress moment that evening in which I paused. I couldn’t take it anymore. Honestly, I don’t think any of us really knew why we were arguing anymore either. Doesn’t that happen? We continue arguing even after we forget why it started… 

So I PAUSED as I was pouring my son milk, and I looked at that milk cartoon in my hands, and then at my husband’s head…

… and honestly I don’t know what overcame me but pure silliness or delirium…

as I smiled and poured some of that very milk over my husband’s head!!!

It was at that moment I knew I felt I should redirect where the entire conversation was going. The unnecessary spiraling and drama unfolding was not going to bring any good. I admit, I should have prayed for wisdom in that pause. It is a strategy I have learned to do now: PAUSE and PRAY before I react. 

Still, I paused and looked at my husband.

He had not showered yet and was about to.

He liked to be silly,

and we certainly were not going anywhere.

Therefore, I chanced it … and spilled some on his head. 

That is so out of character for me, and yet randomness is me. But it was not about me. 

Of course I’m not telling everyone to go around annoying people and pouring drinks over their heads in the heat of the moment. Honestly, I just felt so strongly in that pause that it would be okay. 

At that moment… We had all laughed so hard. Our hearts had softened and the rest of that evening was calm and peaceful.

It is about the moments. It is about how we use our time. For each moment is more time. 

That milk incident only lasted probably a few minutes but… it was what they remembered! And they still remember it years later, as the best day ever! It is now a memory… 

I think of Luke 2:19, “but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often.”

Much like Mary, let’s embrace the moments and store them in our heart. 

They are treasures.

“for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” ~ Matthew‬ ‭6:21‬ ‭KJV‬‬

The truth is that the guilt and regrets of what we could have or should have done can hold us back or they can teach us to embrace the present. 

They can teach us to value the RIGHT NOW! 

They can make us learn to turn the ordinary moments into ones engraved within our hearts.

What if that stressful shower time each night after school and work turned into a song fest! 

What if those long car rides and commutes turned into dance party karaoke or even better, praise and worship!

What if those rushed and stressful mornings right before work and school turned into prayers together and dance parties too.

Our time matters for sure. And of course it is good to self reflect. I like to reflect before bed. I am learning now though to lift up those reflections. I am learning to ask forgiveness from God when needed, and seek Him to guide me to make the next stage and moment better instead of sitting, sulking or spiraling in that regret. 

I spin it another way … to the Lord! 

So here’s the The Art of a Messy House Right Here and Right Now Challenge I am praying and trying to do when the emotions are overwhelming and become A LOT…

PAUSE: Get quiet. Praise God for the gift of time. 

PRAY: Ask for God’s guidance in the self reflection. 

PIVOT: Let’s then ask God to lead us right here and right now in this very moment even if it is not what or where we expected.

The reality is many of us are overworked and tired. However, no matter how many minutes we spend together, EACH MOMENT HOLDS THE CHANCE.

The chance to embrace it…

The chance to change it…

The chance to be present…

The chance to become one remembered forever… 

The chance to spill some milk, (dairy free of course for us,) and pray, as we dance those tears and fears away! 

Because the truth is…

It’s not about the milk. It’s about the moments, and aligning them with the Lord.

The what ifs hold nothing on the right now. 

And that is something to praise God for! 

(That is some truth that we can lean into RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW.) 

Figuratively speaking, TRUTH SEEKING

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.”
(‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:15-16‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

(‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:2‬ ‭NLT‬‬)

Dear God,

You hold all the truth. You are Truth! I lift up all the lies I have been believing. Erase them from my mind. Fill my heart with your overflowing love. I pray to pause. I pray to stop sitting in regret and start living in Your presence. I pray for protection, unity and love over my family today and every day. May we grow closer together as we grow closer to You, our foundation and our rock, In Jesus’ name, Amen.