MY GROWN-UP CHRISTMAS LIST
I’ve been a list maker
right from the start,
but the years wrote differently
what was always coming from the heart.
What’s on your list?
I’ve been a list maker since forever and I have been an old soul since as early as I can remember too. I recollect trying to make sense of deep emotions and life questions way before I ever let anyone know that I knew they existed. Anyone relate? #deepthinking #alwaysthinking
I remember car rides growing up too where I often exercised that empathetic and overthinking mind. I recall how I would go into a world of imagination each time staring out the window, daydreaming about life in my “old soul-yet-immature” way. But out of those journeys, what I remember more than the daydreams was the music and how I found the lyrics whisking me away from reality to a place where I could dream up everything I could ever imagine. It was where my wishes were endless and still they all came true.
#dreamsdocometrue
One song around this time of year that set the stage for many of my reveries was the Amy Grant classic “My Grown-Up Christmas List.“ I had such a long list I would dream up in my mind from a husband who would love me, kids to care for, to a career I loved, to a beach house (maybe one day) to helping make people smile and… to be loved.
I remember always wanting that, always venting away in my Dear God journal and writing poems about… wanting to be loved.
I wanted to feel love. I want to feel love. “I want to know what love is.” (Oops jumping songs here…ha!)
Well last week that song came on while I was in the car with my kids and they started to talk about their lists. (My kids are lyric listeners” too) My daughter then asked, “Mommy, why don’t you have a list?
I smiled and told her I did though not written out. Going on to explain, they and their daddy were on it and such gifts for me. And they smiled back for a moment before rambling off more of what they were hoping for.
But it got me thinking and smiling because of how much my “wish list” has changed since I was little, yet how much has stayed the same too. The old soul in me always had bigger concepts on her list such as love.
And I found much of it… even if sleep deprivation tries to rob me of the reality, of the blessing, of my answered prayers. It shifted my focus back to the Truth, not the lies that strive for more instead of moments.
But I am forgiven. Time and time again turning away from the stumbles and back to Him… the gift that I may not have known the true name for but it was always on my list.
Jesus.
Love.
He is love.
He is Jesus.
I want to know Jesus more.
I also want…
everyone to know Jesus
everyone to know they are loved
everyone to feel loved
all to know they are known
all to know true hope, joy, peace…
♡ I want to live a life of gratitude that radiates joy.
♡ I want laughter to be the sound of that joy and boy did I need this reminder this week.
♡ I want to live out God’s will for my life.
♡ I want to love and lift up my husband and kids more. I recognize that my vibe, my attitude, my lead sets the tone of the house. And while I can feel the pressure of that, I pray to feel empowered by that more. And it comes... Empowerment. Forgiveness. Redirection.
♡ I want to be a better wife, mom, sister, daughter, friend, teacher…
♡ I want to see the doors that God opens and to walk to them and through them too.
♡ I want to shine His light and Hope more in this darkened world and,..
♡Most of all, one day I want to hear. “…’Well done, good and faithful servant! …” (Matthew 25:23)
There is so much that a list of material items can never promise and ensure us. But Jesus can. There is so much that I dreamt up in my “old-soul car-ride daydreams” that money could never purchase or a sleigh could never carry into my life. But Jesus can.
Sure, I hope my books for kids and writing overall help to do this. But it goes deeper then just writing. It is about living. It is about living on mission. It is about spreading the gospel and Good News while also loving on people. In real-time… a real-time daydream… didn’t I always want this? Don’t I still?
There is a universal longing…
to feel loved and be loved
to KNOW we are loved
(They are what I want to teach and share most in this world.)
Love
Jesus
Aren’t we all seeking it? And yet sometimes we look for it in the wrong places. I did that for years and it left me feeling empty, though surrounded. But then I learned of God’s unconditional, never-changing love for me no matter what…
no matter how messy…
how broken…
how lost…
how hurt…
no matter how many times I mess up…
God’s endless and everlasting love embraces me, providing me with an anchor … a hope anchored in Christ.
Hope.
There is so much I am praying for with my family and friends. There are so many healings and breakthroughs needed and still no matter how many times the world etches impossible on them and their flaws, the Lord uses the creases and grooves to provide even more room to pour in that hope.
God makes it possible. All things possible. That’s what I want my family, friends and everyone to know.
It is possible!
There is hope because there is Jesus.
So I have been reflecting back to those Christmas lists that I wrote growing up and though they were filled with material items, I realized something bigger and better, something greater and it brings me back to one of the first scriptures I learned, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7 NIV)
God instructs us to come to Him with our requests, with our lists. It doesn’t mean waiting for December to write them on paper or even in our often-messy minds. He knows our hearts. He hears our prayers and He promises PEACE. Yet right now, we find ourselves in December. And I find myself with wishes turned to prayers.
I pray that I would reflect that peace and that others would know it, because it truly does not make sense to have such peace and hope but it is there. It is ready to be given to us but are we ready to receive it? It has been that season for me learning to receive before giving and learning to love deeper not in a way I need but instead for another. Because the gifts of the world, while they may be wonderful, they are fleeting, they are temporary.
Jesus is the greatest gift,
the gift promised to us that withstands everything.
The shepherds in Luke 2 knew that. Their hope had come. They did not wait when they heard the news and that alone can teach us so much. In the story of Jesus’ birth, the shepherds played an important role. They didn’t have a lot of material possessions because they had their flocks to tend to and follow, but they valued what mattered. Let’s read it, “That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.” Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying, “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.” (Luke 2:8-14 NLT)
In this passage, the shepherds reacted to the Good News. They went to see it too. What would have happened if they didn’t do that or if they had waited?
God kept His promise. He always does. He made a way for us and He always knows the way.
Jesus.
Jesus saved us from our messes and brokenness. He saved us from everything. When the shepherds heard that God’s promise has been fulfilled, they believed it, they celebrated it, they shared it. They spread the Good News.
Joy, Hope, Love
Deep down joy.
Deep down hope.
Deep down love.
Joy. Hope. Love.
They all come from the greatest gift of the world because He is all of those things. The gift that this season is all about, that every season is about, it is Jesus.
And so my Grown-Up Christmas list may have changed in its written version but deep down the things, the necessities have always been the same… my wish, my want, my need is the gift that changes everything… Jesus.
So The Art of a Messy House challenge this week is to be like the shepherds. In order for the Good News to travel, we must believe it. Therefore, let’s believe in this gift. We must go and experience the gift for ourselves though too like the they did. Like other gifts we receive for holidays and birthdays, we must open it. We must want to receive it. We must open our eyes to see. This season for me has really been about that… first receiving. Not that I am asking for more and more but instead I want to know Him more and more. I accepted Him as my Lord and Savior years ago and my life transformed. It’s why I share what I share and publish what I publish. But God guides us all to receive time and time again what He wants to fill us with. This gift of hope and joy, peace and love … time and time again. Like the shepherds, let’s receive it and be filled with His light. Like the unwrapping of a gift we have longed for for years, let’s open it in awe and unyielding, eager excitement. Then like the beautifully glittered wrapping paper of a sparkling gift, let’s shine it in this dark world. Let’s walk in and on mission. Let’s not daydream about what we can do but instead let’s use what God has given us to do what we can
So I end with these questions?
Do you believe? If not, please reach out. We can chat. We can pray. I would love to do either or both. Download a Bible app or open a Bible and turn to the gospel of John. Learn God’s love for YOU. But He loves YOU… this I know.
If you do believe, pray to receive all God has for you. Pray to be filled. What can you do today to spread His Good News? Through a word, an act, a smile, a step of obedience…we all can do something right here and right now. But like the shepherds, we must first drop everything, including our lists, and GO. We must experience the goodness of the Lord and His promises for ourselves.
Jesus
the Prince of Peace,
Emmanuel, God with us,
the Light of the World.
So even though items from our old Christmas lists may part, we can treasure this gift, the greatest gift of all time in our heart.
“All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them.”
(Luke 2:18-20 NLT)
Dear God,
You are worthy. I’m not worthy but You love me anyways. Forgive my distractions. Fill me with Your love and light so it overflows through me. I pray to receive You and all You have for me. May You fill my ceases and brokenness with Your goodness. And may I never stop believing and standing in astonishment at Jesus, the greatest gift of the world. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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