“LO AND BEHOLD,” THE TRUE STREETS OF GOLD
Fields of gold…
Bob Marley once said. “Don’t gain the world and lose your soul; wisdom is better than silver and gold.”
I mean think of Proverbs 8:10-11, “Choose my instruction rather than silver, and knowledge rather than pure gold. For wisdom is far more valuable than rubies. Nothing you desire can compare with it.”
For me though, the silver and gold I sought was- TO BELONG. However, it wasn’t to those who accepted me as I was. Instead, as a preteen/teen I always quietly had my eyes distracted by the popular crowds, trends and fleeting things. Trends are just that right? Fleeting… yet, wisdom remains precious.
If I’m being truly transparent, I never felt I belonged anywhere. I felt quirky, different, anxious, depressed and unlovable.
Lies, lies, lies, lies, LIES!
It was around the age of 5 that I started to feel different, plain and ugly. Those lies snuck in. I remember being in dance & thinking to myself, I don’t look and sound like them. What is wrong with me? I had always loved pretending I was on Kids Incorporated as the character Love. I would sing and dance all around my house. However, around this time, my singing got quieter and my dancing became less. Yet, those feelings did not go away; the lies got louder.
It is why I believe that as adults, we are not spoiling our children by reminding them they are beautiful time and time and TIME again. They need to hear that they are beautiful from us and that God designed them so wonderfully, so preciously, so beautifully so they don’t seek the world’s definition of beauty which… Well, that leads astray. Still I digress a bit…
At the age of 11, I started to limit my food intake. It was gradual but it was what falsely I put my hope in. Maybe I would feel beautiful then. Maybe the guys would like me even though I towered over most of them being 5’6” in the sixth grade. (My height was part of my beauty yet the lies blinded me from seeing it.) I limited myself gradually. I added in more exercises gradually. No one really saw it, but one teacher who to this day I am forever grateful for. She saw me. (Thank you Mrs. Carey.)
She made me feel seen when I felt invisible. I felt peace around her. Much like she was there standing in the gap as God’s light shined in and through her.
Soon, I was 14 years old and well into the limiting of food, hiding my deep sadness behind good grades, sports and staying busy with friends and life. Still, I was hurting so deeply that words even diminished the emotions.
At that time, (dating myself here), I was listening to 106.7 at night on my Walkman. It was 8th grade and I felt like giving up. I felt so alone. I felt so unimportant. I felt helpless, hopeless and unloveable. I wanted to give up. In those tears that often put me to sleep, I prayed to God. I cried out that I wanted to feel loved. I wanted to feel needed. I wanted to know love. I prayed against the anxiety, shame and guilt, something like this…
Dear God,
Show me I am loved. Show me that there is Hope. I am sorry to ask so much but I can’t do this anymore. I need help. Thank you God.
At that moment, the song “Fields of Gold” came on and there is no way to describe it other than I felt a warm embrace upon my heart.
I bawled my eyes.
I felt Hope. I felt loved.
It was Love.
The next day happened to be a class trip with my entire class as well as an eighth grade class from another school. That whole day turned into such a blessing. Meeting new friends and truly enjoying myself, I thanked God all day for hearing and listening to me. But most importantly, I thanked Him for loving me.
At the time, I didn’t realize the significance of that moment. I didn’t realize that it was a reminder of a promise God had for me. I certainly didn’t think I would still be thinking of that night 25 years later. It was like God was telling me I was loved. There was and is ALWAYS Hope. And He was reminding me to hold onto Him. Still, in reflecting back there was so much more too…
I believe God was trying to show me that my hope was in the wrong places. My hope was in finding new friends, in hoping a guy would like me, my hope was in my appearance and my abilities getting me attention.
“Someone may say to you, “Let’s ask the mediums and those who consult the spirits of the dead. With their whisperings and mutterings, they will tell us what to do.” But shouldn’t people ask God for guidance? Should the living seek guidance from the dead? Look to God’s instructions and teachings! People who contradict his word are completely in the dark.” (Isaiah 8:19-20)
I was in the dark. My focus was on the wrong things. And yet, God still loved me and would remind me time and time again throughout my life of that.
Despite my brokenness, despite my messes, despite what anyone else thought of me or spoke over me… He LOVED me. God LOVES us ALL!
Yet, I was holding onto a hope that was fleeting, the type that comes from the world. Sure, I believed in Jesus. I talked to Him. I prayed for things. But I was in a dark place. I was looking and seeking happiness in those wrong, fleeting things of the world. Therefore. without really knowing, I often allowed the lies of devil in with irrational thoughts such as ending my misery. But God! He has so much more for ALL of us. We must never give up! We must lift it up to the Lord, our Father who truly knows best.
There IS a different Hope, a true HOPE. And Simeon knew of holding on this hope. Simeon was a believer who held onto hope through even the darkness.
“At that time there was a man in Jerusalem named Simeon. He was righteous and devout and was eagerly waiting for the Messiah to come and rescue Israel. The Holy Spirit was upon him and had revealed to him that he would not die until he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. That day the Spirit led him to the Temple. So when Mary and Joseph came to present the baby Jesus to the Lord as the law required,”
(Luke 2:25-27)
God’s Words do NOT fail.
Simeon was merry and bright even through the darkness. He held onto God’s promises. Sure, for us, the Christmas season is over, but are we still merry and bright? Is God’s presence enough for us even when the lights of the world are packed up until next year? When so much is so dark? It was for Simeon.
A revelation can bring Hope just like it did with Simeon.
Hope.
God’s promises.
That is what we must hold on to.
But how do we do this? How do we do this when everything is so dark? How do we do this when we feel hopeless, anxious and depressed?
It took me years to break free from those cycles. And it was not in anything I did, it was in God’s work within me. However, it took steps on my part. It took seeking help and getting a counselor I connected with. I had deep wounds of the past that needed to be acknowledged and discussed in order to move on. It also took a step that I am forever grateful I took. ➡️ It turned my eyes to God’s words by opening my Bible daily, and opening my heart to what He was working in and through me. It took me…
Fixing my focus on Jesus.
Day after day even if it was just out of discipline at first, I committed to reading the Bible each morning and praying to God. I had to stay committed to that.
The discipline was how it started. The desire was where it led. After years, it turned into not just something I had to do. It turned to what I desired to do. Transformed forever...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We all can have that kind of relationship with the Lord. We all can…
Cry out to Him like I did on my bed that night. Ask Him for help and guidance.
He loves us all so much and wants us to live in the abundance He has for each of us, full of His promises and His joy. He wants that for us RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.
So many people at that time of Simeon were false Messiahs. They were claiming to be Jesus. People were being led astray. Acts 5 recaps some of these false teachers. I don’t need to go into detail to show you that even today there are still people taking this stance of asking and tricking us into putting our hope in them.
Look around. Or rather, DON’T. Look UP. Look to Jesus. Fix your eyes on Him.
His hope is an anchor to our soul.
“This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.” (Hebrews 6:19)
There is a greater Hope for our future than all else. It is the anticipation of Jesus coming back to this world.
“Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever. The land of Zebulun and Naphtali will be humbled, but there will be a time in the future when Galilee of the Gentiles, which lies along the road that runs between the Jordan and the sea, will be filled with glory. The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine. You will enlarge the nation of Israel, and its people will rejoice. They will rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest and like warriors dividing the plunder.” ~ Isaiah 9:1-3
We have joy.
We have hope.
Because Jesus came, and He will come again.
No matter what happens or how challenging it becomes, there is His light.
There is more… Jesus is coming again.
Though we do not know the time or place. We need to live in anticipation. But as we wait, there is purpose. There is a reason for each moment, for you, and for me. For us all…
There is nothing greater than when He returns. In the meantime, we don’t need to walk in the guilt, shame, pain, darkness, depression, anxiety alone. We don’t need to stay there. Seek professional help and a counselor if and when needed. Talk to a family member, teacher, pastor, priest or someone you trust. And turn your eyes to the Lord, our helper, our provider, our refuge…
Even before you believe it or can see it, turn to Him. Spend time with the Lord each morning before you get up for the day. When I was a teen, my time was at night. As I got older, I realized I needed God more, I needed Him all the time. Therefore, each morning when I rise, I think of those lines... “Give me Jesus.” Talk to Him. Ask His light to guide you in this dark world and even in the dark times.
His light is there.
Always there.
So The Art of a Messy House Right Here and Right Now Challenge is this…
Seek God in and through all things.
Trust God in and through all things.
Believe in what He is doing.
Ask for help if and when needed.
Set up a quiet time and place to talk to God each day. Listen, and obey the prompts, however they come…
God wants us to live the abundant life He has for us. It is greater than anything sparkly that the world shines at us. We are here right now for a reason. We don’t need to wait in fear or sadness. We don’t need to wait to hold onto His hope and cling to His promises.
However, there is even more…
And it goes back to those “fields of gold” that have a very different meaning now to me.
Heaven.
There is Hope when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior.
“To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”
(Colossians 1:27)
Christ in us
Transformed forever
Hold onto that Hope…
Hope of His glory…
Heaven.
So let’s fix our focus, on the anchor our soul
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” ~ Isaiah 26:3
Because we want Heaven here… oh those “Fields of gold.”
Dear God,
You are the anchor of my soul. I give You all my doubts and all my distractions today. Thank you for saving my life. Thank you for my life. Thank you for my purpose. I pray today for every single person reading this. I pray that they learn and walk in Your love and Truth. I pray that they walk in the purpose You have for their lives. Help us keep my eyes on You. We want Heaven here. And as we praise You through it all, I pray that I keep my eyes on Your promises, Your Truths, Your character and Your love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
