CRY ME A RIVER AND I'LL TELL YOU WHO PARTS THE SEA

I am sensitive, but I am STRONG.

My sensitivity is a strength despite what I once thought. Growing up, I was ashamed of it. However, just like fear is a lie. Shame is one too, chaining us back. 

Being sensitive was and is not my weakness. Sure, everything needs to be balanced, renewed and adjusted. Still, sensitivity can be strength, and often it can be raw & beautiful.  In my own life…

I’ll laugh and cry.

I’ll get angry and cry.

I’ll get nervous and cry.

I’ll get excited and cry. 

I’ll receive a blessing and cry.

I promise I’m not always crying. I laugh a lot too. But the reality is: I feel deeply. I connect deeply. My deep sense of empathy has always been bittersweet for me. Where are all my sensitive but strong peeps at? 

Still, society doesn’t often see it that way. I do believe in some ways we are getting better at it. However, to the world, strength and even strong leadership aren’t typically seen as feeling, or as serving. Therefore, we are often tempted by its pressure to push our emotions aside or even suppress them. Yet, Philippians 4:6-7 instructs us to let our requests be known. Even Proverbs 15:13-14 prompts me to let them show because hiding emotions can end up hurting. God knows it all. He sees it all and longs to comfort us through it all too.

Still, it requires bringing it ALL to the Lord first, pausing & remembering that the greatest leadership was modeled by our Lord and Savior. Jesus is the leader we need to have our eyes fixed on, the One we need to learn from & He lived a life of leading, a life of serving. In our journeys to becoming more like Jesus, we must learn to do the same.

It makes me think of teaching and how in that educating and raising youth, kids are often teaching us too…

In my early 20s, I started in a classroom setting. I saw how the definition of strength gets mixed up in society, like so much else. Then, I had my own kids. I saw how their individual personalities shined through early on. However, I started to see the sensitive piece surface too. That’s when the doubts started to pry themselves in again. Was my sensitivity really an asset or was I messing them up too? I needed to navigate our youth to become strong. Was I doing it wrong?

That was until they reminded me with their bold, yet pure innocence that empathy is a strength…

It was last summer (2021) and my kids were arguing with each other on what to play. They both had different ideas and wanted the other to go along with their own creative plans. No one compromised until my son started to tear up in frustration. That was when my daughter shouted to my son who’s 2.5 years older, “Big brothers don’t cry.” I know it was said in the heat of the moment but it made me reflect on how he must perceive that, and also her perception on the topic too.

To feel the emotions and then be told, you should not feel them, is confusing and conflicting in so many ways and on so many levels. Still, I know feelings are flawed. Still, I also know that suppressing them does not accomplish much but temporary relief.

In this conversation, my son soon reminded her that anyone can cry and that even Mommy cries. Guilty! Tears have been a faithful companion of mine over the years. Books, movies, testimonies, songs, the good, the bad… they all provoked my tears. 

Yup! I’m a cryer! Like I stated above growing up, I was ashamed of it. But now, I see its strength. However, it took years of spending time in God’s word to see and learn that He created me. He created us all with qualities and attributes that help us walk out our distinct God-given purpose. That included the ones we ourselves may not always have been fond of and the ones that may not always have been kept in check. 

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. “
(Ephesians 4:32)

I am KIND.

“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.”
(1 Peter 3:8)

I have a TENDER heart. (Well most of the time… working on some areas always). I’m sensitive but STRONG. I’m all about a good LAUGH and a good CRY.  (Sometimes, together)

And you too have God-given qualities and attributes that He gifted You to live out the calling on your life. They may not always seem like positive ones with all the worldly confusion and sometimes, they may need to be adjusted, calmed and tamed. However, He created you as His masterpiece. (Ephesians 2:10) He always and has always known what He is doing in and through Your life. 

Still, sometimes the seasons bring such tears, ones that seem to flow like rivers. God is there. He is by our sides and goes before us too. When I think of that, I remember all the times He worked such miracles, including the times He parted the seas.

Then, I remember the other times; the times that He does not part the waters and move the mountains. Times and seasons that seem like they will never end. Those are the times when I am reminded that He has equipped us all with exactly what we need for everything we face. He walks beside us all too. So maybe it is not about waiting for the seas to part, for the emotions to subside or be forgotten, or the moments to fall distant to time. Instead, maybe it is about using what God has given us right here and right now to teach our youth what true strength is while learning it ourselves.

As we all know, kids cry. On some days, the tears run rampant. I often find myself saying things like, “Don't cry.” “It’s not bad.” “Stop crying.” And many more comments that in recent years, I do not understand myself. When I am upset and someone tells me, “Just calm down, you are fine,” I do not feel better. I often feel unheard and silly, and even ashamed of having those feelings. I feel like I can’t acknowledge them, thus I am tempted to hide them or feel the urge to. Our kids are the same. Of course, emotions can be irrational. However, acknowledging them is so important. 

I often think of a car waiting for a train to pass. The car must acknowledge that there is a train passing or it can become a disaster. We are the same. We must acknowledge the emotions. Acknowledging them doesn’t mean we jump on the train and ride with them. It means we note them. We realize that they are there. We do not hide. We do not suppress them for another day. However, we do not stay there either. 

We are human. We feel! So let’s feel the feelings and give them to God. God already sees our heart (1 Samuel 16:7)

Suppressing them or pretending they don’t exist, won’t do anything. 

But God can. 

Through Him... 

• the breakthrough can happen

• the truth can be spoken

• the impossible can be achieved 

• the chains can be broken 

• the feelings can be faced

Because no matter what you are up against, He is there with you.  

I must also note that I’m not saying we shouldn’t raise strong children. In fact, I’m saying the opposite. It is critical for us to raise up courageous children using the strength that is found in God’s presence and Word. Still, we must acknowledge the feelings that may fester if we don’t face them because we know what is true. We also know where we stand. We stand in God’s Truth. Therefore, in acknowledging emotions, we don’t need to cling. It is in God’s strength and using His wisdom we will be guided to know what to face and what to let go of. Our job is to teach our youth the ways of God and to hate the ways of the enemy. Let’s, therefore, navigate, teach and guide them to hear God’s voice louder than the world, louder than the emotions. 

This leads us to this week's The Art of a Messy House Right Here and Right Now Challenge. It is to simply…

• Be honest with Him.

• Bring your feelings to the Lord.

• Know it is okay to cry. Sometimes, it is healing too. 

• For God created His good work in you. (Psalm 139:14)

• And “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.” (‭‭Psalm‬ ‭34:17‬)

So trust and give it all to Him. Because life is a journey with laughs and with tears, with ups and downs, with calm and raging seas. 

Let’s remember that no matter how it’s going or how it started. That anything is possible because the sea can part. 

“Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided,”

‭‭(Exodus‬ ‭14:21‬)

And sometimes if He doesn’t part it, He builds us up to be able to swim, building our strength and faith muscles more than you could ever do alone. He may use it to wash us clean too. 

So let the streams run when and where they need to. For there is healing in every drop that falls. There is strength in each tear. There is restoration when we rest in the Lord who is near…. right here and right now. 

Dear God,

You are here by my side. You created us all so wonderfully in Your image. I lift up every doubt, every fear, and every emotion. I give it all to You. Mold me into who You created me to be. Help me speak Your truth into my kids too so that they have Your everlasting words to stand on instead of the world’s fleeting ones. I love You. I do this all for You. I know that every tear that drops is caught by You. I thank You for being by my side through it all. Help me heal. Help me feel. And through it all, I pray it is Your peace and love that You reveal. All for You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.