THEY SAY THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER
They say the grass is always greener on the other side, BUT not if you live with my husband. Wait what! Let me explain…
To put it simply, my husband loves our grass and it drives me crazy. And I’m sure it drove him crazy when I decided I was strongly against pesticides. (I digress…)
Oh those conflicts…
those differences in opinion..
They can truly become dissecting divisions cutting at the core, or they can become challenging convictions. No matter what, they are often opportunities. Okay let me explain as this is totally an area I am still working on…
Think about someone close to you.
What’s one thing that drives you crazy about this person? (For me, it is my husband’s obsession with our lawn.) Or maybe there’s a few things?
Focus on one.
(Note: I am NOT talking about anything unsafe or cruel.)
As much as we would like to say, there is nothing that irritates me. With time, most, if not all of us develop those pet peeves that can lead to inevitable arguments, disagreements, or situations we wish to avoid.
The reality is they exist… and while compromise is a crucial part of any relationship, sometimes it is not possible. Instead, it may require some acceptance on our part. Accept it!??! That one thing that drives us crazy!? Oh no!!! I can’t!
But wait…
hear me out…
The thing that drove me crazy for years was my husband’s love (aka obsession) for our grass. Perfect grass was not possible in the life of a family of two young kids and a Labrador. Yet, he spent hours relentlessly making sure that our lawn would one day be just that… perfect!
He did this as I myself was trying to undo my need for perfection and learning to embrace life, imperfect and all. In fact, I remember the first summer that his deep partnership with our lawn required many weekend afternoons caring for it. Yet, after our basement flooded, we needed to have a lot of work done in the backyard to prevent future ones. For months, workers came and worked on our drainage issues. Soon, our backyard was beginning to have more and more of the perfect setup for a barbecue or summer party. However, there was one issue in my husband’s eyes.
One patch of his beloved grass was destroyed by the workers. Therefore, any parties, barbecues, or actually … anyone near that area of lawn … was forbidden for the rest of the summer.
I tried.
I really did.
However, when your husband comes home and runs to greet his growing patch of grass before his wife and kids…
…I admit I lost it!
(More times than I’d like to admit)
That was until I took on a poetry challenge.
I love poetry and have been writing it for most of my life. It had been around this time last summer where I wanted to push deeper with it… to push for a dream of mine a bit more seriously, the dream to be published. At the time, I thought it would be with my poetry. Therefore, I heard from a poet friend about an opportunity. It required me to devise a poem based on a prompt and model poem. If chosen, it would be published in an upcoming book. So what did I have to lose?
When I sat to review the prompts, one jumped out at me:
“For your own love poem, zero in on a single talent your beloved has.”
Right away, his grass jumped into my head. His grass! My pet peeve– his passion… Could that really be seen as a positive thing? A talent? This obsession that drove me mad!
The task called for me to learn about this talent and turn it into a metaphor. Therefore, I sat outside on that late Spring evening, and asked him questions about terms I never knew existed. Or if I’m being completely honest, terms I never cared about. Or rather, never tried to care about…I asked, and he shared all about GRASS.
Strangely enough, not only did a poem get drafted that was chosen to be published, but somehow something that drove me crazy for years turned a new leaf. Suddenly, I did not feel so crazed over it either…
GRASS
Who’s kept receipts anyways
things you’ve learned over these years
growth you’ve sang into the grass
never doubting sun and rain to not agree
what steps to grow what patience set free
why throw dough to someone’s stranger
when you can spread the seed or at least
you’ll start using the rototiller
sweating over the inches
spreading over the daunting dirt
so many weekends to foster new year’s lawn
fertilizer for the poking patches
tall fescue perennial rye
manual hose automatic display
and tools I cannot even say
sun and water and more seed
depend on you
to know how to apply
and bring back to life
lean on you never to die.
(For more poems and excellent poetry writing tips from this collection, check out the following book: “The Practicing Poet: Writing Beyond the Basics” – Diane Lockward)
While I did not write this based on scripture or even in prayer, it relates to God's words because it involves LOVE.
“This is my command: Love each other.”
John 15:17 NIV
We are commanded to love. We can’t love someone fully if we have parts of our hearts hardened toward them. What a blessing it would be if we tried and prayed that pet peeves turned into blessings.
Have you tried this? This week’s The Art of a Messy House Right Here and Right Now Challenge is to do just that. Try it out sometime, or maybe you already have. Embrace what drives you crazy about someone you love, and like I stated above, I’m not talking about anything unsafe or cruel of course. Instead, think of something innocent like the love of their green grass. It is something my husband takes pride in and I dismissed for a long time.
Let’s learn more about those things, and see what happens. I did not know it at the time, but it was the perfect way to combat or rather extinguish many potential arguments.
I leaned in.
I listened.
I tried to find out why he loved “that thing” so much.
We may always have patches of imperfect grass that call my husband to spend hours tending to it… that makes me want to scream and roll my eyes,
but at least I can appreciate the beauty of its growth more…
at least I can appreciate the passion and man behind it…
…and hopefully we can have a few barbecues in the meantime too…
I pray that when the Lord speaks, I act and do it. I pray to walk more and more aligned to His ways and with the Holy Spirit. I pray to be used today to bring the hope of Jesus to others and that when the opportunities come, I don’t overlook them, staring at the other side that is not my grass to have. I pray to see the heart behind the action. I pray to see people the way God sees them. And I pray to love them the way they deserve.
I pray to embrace this grass before me and the man who cares for it, in the way that honors the Lord.
RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”
John 15:12 ESV
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
John 13:34-35 ESV
Dear God,
You are love. Forgive my bitterness or pettiness, including the stuff and areas that go unseen. You see it. I see it. I lift it up to You. I pray today to hear You when You speak and to listen to what You call me to take care of even if it is uncomfortable. I pray to act and do it. I pray to walk more and more aligned to His ways and with the Holy Spirit. I pray to be used today to bring the hope of Jesus to others and that when the opportunities come, I don’t overlook them, staring at the other side. I pray to see the heart behind the action. I pray to see people the way You see them, and I pray to love them the way they deserve. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
