Tag Archives: Food Allergy Mom

The Truth Must Not Tiptoe

To You or Anyone out there that is ever asked to watch over my son for just a moment,

I must start by explaining how challenging this week has been. I stopped myself from writing this sooner because it would have had a much more angry tone. I do believe that emotions are much clearer once they have had a day or two to sort themselves out and time to be slept on…

sleep

With that being said, I can no long tiptoe around certain facts but instead I must wear “crazy mom” proud in hopes that the blatant truth even grabs your potential ignorance for a second. So while I write this, I pray for empathy…

 MOCKINGBIRD

To start, let me recap.  My little guy is not eating at daycare yet again. It started on Tuesday with two days of refusing any food from 7 am- 2:30 pm. On Tuesday, he ate nonstop when he got home though until he went to bed. That did change the later part of the week when he started to refuse many foods at home too. We are not sure what is causing this?

Is he cutting more teeth? (The bottom canines are right there about to cut through and the top canines reeked havoc a few weeks ago.)

Is it the cold and cough he had?

Is it being a toddler and going through yet another phase?

Is it all of the above?

Or, is it something else…

Heck, maybe he is bored with his restricted diet and we need to start getting more creative.


Whatever the reason for this strike is …

No matter how frustrating it may get …

No matter how challenging it is to manage a child with multiple food allergies …

There are several factors that are imperative for you to know:

1) The guidelines and safety procedures that we worked on for him during mealtimes were not created to make your life more difficult. ( Click here for daycare accommodation post.) Instead, they are meant to protect my son’s life. We do realize how challenging it is to manage many active toddlers and truly appreciate that all of you have agreed to work with us despite the allergies.

2) Please don’t tell me that my son no longer likes bananas when you haven’t even peeled it for him. I do thank you for the confirmation that my son is advanced but I am not so sure any 17 month old toddler is communicating enough at this point to inform you, “I won’t be eating bananas anymore so there’s no need to peel.” I am hoping that this is just teeth and a phase which will soon pass. I send in bananas every day because I am hopeful he will start to eat them again. Hope is what I thrive on…

3) Please don’t take it upon yourself to stop using the high chair we provided for snack and mealtimes because it is inconvenient to strap him into it then have to unstrap him five minutes later when I arrive to pick him up. Your inconvenience takes up ten seconds of your time that I am willing to take off your hands and do myself. Those ten seconds can protect his life.

4) Actually, let’s go back to the topic of actual food again.   Please refrain from telling me he no longer likes any of the food I ever provide. I can assure you that I know my son best and understand how his diet is very repetitive. I too believe he is bored with his food and I promise you we are working on it.  We don’t have as many options as most do and introducing new foods is often a frightening task.  With that being said, please also hold back from telling me to cut back on the amount of food I send in. What inconvenience does it cause if I continue to send in what he was typically eating at home during the summer?  …Once again, I am breathing on hope…

5) My son had an anaphylactic reaction to a tiny amount of yogurt. His dairy IgE levels are still very high as are the components of it that are more likely to cause anaphylaxis.  Therefore, there is a greater chance of a life-threatening reaction if he was to ingest it again. Many foods (more than you think) that people of all ages consume contain dairy.  Soooooo…..

He should never ever ever be playing next to another toddler or young child who is eating. The webcam shot is beyond terrifying especially since it wasn’t an adult who removed him from the area but instead, my 17 month old son himself. This is his life we are talking about. One taste of any of it and he needs his EpiPen or Auvi-Q administered. If he is the one removing himself and not an adult seeing this situation, I am not so sure how that can happen. It causes my fear to challenge my faith…

Please tell me how to make this easier for you to monitor him. We tried getting him a private one-to-one nurse for mealtimes … We bought him his own high chair for meal times … We will buy gates to separate the eating and playing areas if need be. I will do anything to ensure his safety and help all of you. I pray throughout each day that God guides me through all of my decisions and actions especially those that relate to my little guy. I pray you tell me how I can help you protect my son. Prayer drives my faith…

I know there will be close calls in general because of sending him to daycare.   Right now, it is not an option financially for me to stay home with him and protect him. I wish there was an easy answer to all of this. I wish that there were daycare facilities out there free of the top 8 allergens, not just tree nuts and peanuts. People don’t just have anaphylactic reactions to nuts you know? (Why aren’t there facilities like this especially with the prevalence of food allergies so high and increasing?)

If you or anyone out there is ever asked to watch over my son for just a moment, I pray that you can stop focusing on me as the crazy mom that I know you have labeled me as already.  Instead, I pray that you turn that focus to my son’s best interest and when you have questions ask me or suggestions suggest them to me.  Trust me that I am more than you think I am….

DAVID GOKEY

Instead, put aside your ignorance for a second and remind yourself that this is about life. My son’s life depends on it. So, open your minds and hearts by first tuning in your ears and actions.There are already too many “what ifs” in life to have to worry about factors that can be controlled.  Is it wrong of me to expect this? Are my expectations too high?

Until I have more answers next week, I am challenged by some fears. I fear that I will start to hear daycare facilities tell us that they cannot have my son. I worry that he will not be able to have the same experiences in life as others his age. I want to make his life as amazing as possible and teach him that food allergies like any challenge in life, can’t define you.   Only YOU can define yourself! 

But I need your help…

I am no longer angry at anyone… for I never stay that way for long. Instead, I am more motivated than ever to continue this journey of advocating and protecting my little “Cutes.”

LOVE

I hope that my honesty can help shut the door on ignorance for at least one person.  In the meantime, we thank you God because it is very evident that you are walking right beside our son, holding his hand through this valley, this journey that we can’t tiptoe around.  But with your strength and the truth, we can battle and smile on…


See more about allergy levels here:

Allergy Level Post

Dairy Components