What do you see?
Does it often seem like despite your efforts to do good, that the things you fail in…the one thing you forgot to do or just didn’t have enough time to do …is the one and only thing people notice. That your failure is the one and only thing people see.
I have felt this often throughout most of my life. The one time I forget to check to see if all twenty of Madison’s hair ties are in her backpack when I pick her up is the day her teachers also forgot to pack them… (She has an obsession with her bracelets aka hair ties). Or the one time I give the wrong show and tell, I’m reminded of where the weekly theme is posted.. Or even the one day our of the month I decide not to do laundry, everyone is asking for something from it.
It can seem as though no one sees or appreciates how I have made random stops at the store during a crazy day to buy more backup hair ties…Or usually have show and tells packed up and ready to go days in advance…Or how I have been doing laundry every day for years. And the reality is, we do so much each day that no one does see… that does go unnoticed.
For years, I found myself getting upset from these reactions of others, from what people saw or what failed to see. That was until I reflected on what I myself was focused on. What I was seeing and that was also when I learned to laugh… often at myself and “the irony” of life.
As a society, what are we focused on? It’s so easy to give into the negativity around us. It is everywhere!
The tantruming child…
the grumpy cashier …
the car honking obnoxiously to get out of their way …
the rude coworker who doesn’t say hi back or even acknowledge you in the hallway…
or even the deceitful family member who knows how to push your buttons…
That’s what I was seeing too. All the displeasing things that were happening around me… and everything that was not happening. How the garbage cans in the kitchen were overflowing again or how the empty paper towels liked to wait for me to replace them. However, in focusing on these parts of the day, I was blinding myself to what was being done.
All the times that the garbage was taken out …
the fact that I rarely brought those garbage cans to the curb…
all the times that the paper towels were put away for me when unpacking from the supermarket…
all the people who were saying good morning or smiling back…
the shoes in which those family members walk and why they hurt so badly…
the chaos most of us walk through each day that tends to zone in on the negativity thrown at us…
instead of the good.
Who has time for the positivity anyways?
There really is a lot of good all around us. But we must make the time to see it. It is our job to consciously choose what to focus on. It is our decision. No one can hold that power over us.
Let’s be conscious on seeing the good. Let’s ask that grumpy cashier how their day is or better yet give a compliment.
Let’s say hello first to everyone who walks by us in the hallway at work and don’t worry if they don’t say hi back. Learn to let it go!
Let’s call up that angry family member randomly just to say hi.
Let’s pray for peace for that road raging person in the car next to us when they flash us their “friendly finger.”
Let’s thank our spouse for something that always do.
Let’s see the good…and if we can’t see it, create it!
We need to carefully decide what we zoom in on. There are a lot of perspectives to see from. It is not our job to transform the grumpy coworker or angrily shout back at the road raged driver. Instead, it is our job to stop the cycles around us and zoom in on the good.
See beneath the surface.
Pray for softened hearts.
Pray for communication barriers to be lifted and removed.
Pray to see the good in everyone.
We all have battles we are fighting all the time.
While we may not have been there exactly, we have all been somewhere similar struggling to stay afloat…
struggling to believe…
struggling to live.
Learning to keep your eyes open to those around you instead of closing them out, is how we truly begin to see each other and lift each other up. It’s how people start to see you too. Be the change you want to see. Let’s use eyes to support not to judge. Imagine what is possible if and when we work together and support one another. The possibilities are endless!
Soo yes, I promise I will try to see you past the layers of each chaotic day …
but right now behind this tower of laundry…
you may not see me.
Eyes aboard all around
the shipwreck’s gossip
washes over the town
who nurses with breast
who goes straight to bottle
yet the tides all bring
currents that steal sleep
some train and others coddle
and still they all ask the question,
Minds coast to speed
the wreckage drama
blankets with greed
who pays more
who files away into the depth
of the sand’s debt that burns
fires upon their feet
some nap and others explore free
and still they all ask,
Charade of lies
sea marks it all lost
images gloss over cries
who labels it a spiritual hand
who coins it as religion
the island is huge
there is room for all to live
yet most find fault
in their way to stand
upon a deck
Where they still ask,
Ship ashore, crashes upon its shouts
the baby falls captive
to the deception of the sea
as her wounds are deeper
than the fear of falling
it washes upon that same beach
the chaos of waves causes tidal doubt
overwhelm her belief
that she is just that
more than enough
and who still stands by
their fingers all pointed out
who fails to watch now, who misses the boat –
when all she needs
is a smile to swim upon her sinking oar
“Good job Mama,”
as she asks them back –
Who’s still watching?
For what were you really looking for?
© Jennifer Kosuda and The Art of a Messy House (theartofamessyhouse.com), 2019. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jennifer Kosuda and The Art of a Messy House with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.