From my experience, it’s very easy to form excuses as to …
Why we are the way we are?
Or why we do what we do?
Why we can’t do what we are called to do?
Who made us the way we are?
Who said something that affected us deeper than forgiveness can reach?
Why we can’t be happy until that change happens, that miracle comes, that person changes… etc.
Excuses can be for everything. Excuses to why we can’t defeat our anxiety, why our flaws continue to get the best of us, why we can’t be different than those before us, why we can’t use that talent, why we can’t forgive…
They protect us in a way from failure… from being vulnerable … from embarrassment… from life…
But excuses are just that: excuses. They hold us back from our full potential. They prevent us from using our God-given talents. They lie to us so that forgiveness is not allowed in … that cycles can’t break.
Those are all lies. For forgiveness is the key. Forgiveness is what we are all called to do. Forgiveness heals everyone involved especially the forgiver. Cycles of the past like addiction, anxiety, abuse or even deep unhappiness … they do break! But it takes prayer, perseverance, patience and ….. forgiveness.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:32 NIV
One of the greatest things I ever did was forgive some people, some very close to me and others I may never see again, for things of the past. It was not easy. I battled myself for years… (truthfully decades about it … )
But lucky for me, the cool thing about forgiveness is that it doesn’t always require us to tell the people directly. Sometimes, it just involves that huge step within our lives to forgive and let go… to lift it up and use those scars for good.
So even though I did not tell them directly that I had forgiven them, I finally did it. My stubborn ways tried so hard to hold on to the grudges and the pain as backup excuses for when I messed up. It’s so much easier to pass the buck to someone else than face our own flaws or mistakes.
But this forgiveness brought so much more…. it brought a peace I could never have had with all that baggage still piled up.
One of the best quote I read around the time when I decided to embrace forgiveness was this one by Prince Ea, which has now become one of my life mottos.
“Be who you needed when you were younger.” – Prince Ea
So think back…
Who did you need as a child…
Who did you need as a preteen...
Who did you need as a teen… young adult …
Who do you need now?
The moment I started to reflect on this is when I finally stopped sulking in the excuses and pains of the past… and saw the promises and possibilities awaiting me in my now. It’s when I took ownership on my present and my future… both blessings my past can no longer steal.
Being a mother and teacher gives me a platform for this for sure. However, we all have our own platforms to do this… to be this… to be who we needed … to be who we need… in everything we do and with every relationship.
So no matter what mess the past left you, every day is a new chance to forgive and be that person you too once needed.
It will change your life!